I hate my life I swear

Have u ever felt like your whole world is gonna crash like there is no love in the world like your whole body is left behind but your soul and mind wanders the earth in different direction..well that's how I fell right now....I have loved a person again buh this time he didn't even look at me like the way I looked at him..He gave another girl a heart where he holds the key to round his neck..its all good I said to my self....I smiled when I heard what happened I allowed my heart to contain the crash again I don't know y I never find love I search everytime I always think I have it buh I never find love it never happened to me...its like my life wasn't ,want to be like I wasn't supposed to exist like my whole world is a false every time I look for it it never comes it doesn't even knock at my door at all ever since I came here I have been heart broken twice like everything always goes wrong for Me everytime....I hate this life I have where nothing happens good for me....yes I likem him alot..buh anytime I fall for a person I end up crashing y heart over and over again....I have made up my mind I am never go on a let any one near my heart again I swear never.....